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A Cherry On Top Photography

My sweet Boy

Thanks to Lacey @ A Cherry on Top Photography for taking these wonderful pictures.  She has been taking wonderful pictures of my sweet child since before he was born, the precious few hours after he was born, every month up until he was 1, every year, Halloween, and Christmas pictures.  She always captures every characteristic of him.  I am so thankful to have such amazing pictures to look back on and remember him at ever stage of life!!!! Lacey, I love love love these pics.  Thank you so much!!!!

Worst Day

Generally when I have a bad day there is one thing that has always made me feel better and unfortunately for me I cannot have that one thing because her being gone is the reason I am having such a horrible day.   She loved me unconditionally no matter what.  She always knew when something was wrong with me and would just sit and snuggle with me as if she was saying its ok, I am here.  Although when Todd and I married with the hectic life style we led we probably didn't need to get a dog but I have now realized why I did need her.  I think for everyone adjusting to married life that first year is hard.  You cant cry to your parents every time something goes wrong or you have a fight.  You have to grow up and learn how to start doing things on your own.  Emma was my perfect solution.  Not only did she love me and would instantly know that something was wrong, I could tell her everything and she would love me just the same and not hold anything against the person I was mad at.  Considering I had to adjust in the beginning of our marriage to not only being married but having to work full time, go to school, but also to dealing with the ups and downs of being a coaches wife, she was the one thing that was a constant for me.  Every time I came home, every time I got up in the morning, everyday she was there.  She had these eyes that when you looked at her you saw how unbelievably loving this dog was.  How could God create something so loving so wonderful that I myself  would find myself getting mad at her.   Although she would occasionally pee in the house or bark when I would prefer her not, and even the few times she would run away from me and I would have to chase her, she was such an amazing dog.  I feel  horrible now for all of the times I would be angry at her and yelled at her.  How could I have yelled at such a sweet baby.  I think Emma helped shaped me into the adult I am today and it is terribly hard for me to let go of her.  I know it seems kind of silly to be this worked up over a dog but to me she was like my child and my first child at that.  I am sure my pain is nothing compared to those who have lost a child, a parent, a sibling, a loved one but my heart is breaking.  I cant stop thinking about her and how she couldn't tell me if this is what she really wanted.  I cant help but consider myself a life taker.  I choose death for her and who am I to make that decision.  She was so happy when we left the house.  She was excited to take a ride in the car.  She was wagging her tail and happy to stick her head out the window so it left me to question if I was doing the right thing.  I know she was in a tremendous amount of pain and I could see it in her eyes this morning that she was struggling with the pain and will to go on, but why did she have to seem so happy while I was taking her to do the unthinkable?  I cant get the image out of my head of her face while they were giving her the shot, but I couldn't let her go in without me there to comfort her.  Why did we have to go to a veterinarian  clinic that didn't seem to care and had no compassion for my dog.  We had been taking her for two months and I was telling them something is wrong with my dog and they just wouldn't listen to me.  I am so angry at this clinic.  Of all people shouldn't  they be the ones to understand and have compassion for animals?  Thankfully we found a clinic who understood what I was facing to help comfort me about putting her down.  As silly as this may sound to some, I am very much struggling with if there is an afterlife for animals.  If animals don't have souls this was it for me and her.  I will never see her again and that is really hard for me to accept.  I am not sure what to believe and I am not getting much peace about any of it.  Why did this have to happen.  She was so young and cancer in small spay dogs is very uncommon so why her?  I still needed her.  I miss her incredibly and hate coming home to this house without her. I know it will get easier in time but I am devastated at losing her.  I have a book that states "Dogs are not our whole lives, they just make our lives whole" and now I feel broken.

My Emma Rue

As most of you know my sweet Emma Rue wont be with us much longer.  Emma was born on Sept 12 2002. We got her in October of 2002.  Todd caved in on his no dog rule and got her for me as an early Christmas present for our first Christmas together as a married couple.  We actually were supposed to get a different dog.  We found this dog online and he was only supposed to get up to about 6  pounds and I really wanted a small dog.  We went to walmart and bought a bunch of stuff for our little "rebound" that we were going to go to Choctaw and pick up.  We drove and drove and drove and the lady whom I had spoke with earlier had told us to come down decided not to pick up the phone and even eventually took the phone off the hook (I am guessing because she was tired of us calling and she didn't have the guts to tell me the transaction wasn't going to take place).  I cried and cried the entire way home.  I was so upset and didn't understand why this lady would do this to me.  I really wanted to have a dog of my own and not just any dog a miniature dachshund. Todd felt horrible but reassured me we would be getting a dog.  I now know that this was God's way of giving me the perfect dog! One Sunday morning Todd saw an add and took me to Claremore to go look at a few puppies.  There she was this beautiful black and brown baby!!! She was it, she was perfect and everything I wanted.  So home came miss Emma Rue Anderson!!!  we were a bit scared in the beginning because she didn't do much other than sleep (remind you we were newly weds and had no children).  The sleeping didn't last long.  She quickly became very active and soon found her voice! She was so little.  I remember when she would just fit in our hands cupped together.  Todd even though hesitant to admit it became very fond of this baby.  He loved to play "wiener dog" obstacle course with her.  He would set up objects in our living room and make her go around them or jump over them to get her treat.  He even decided that he would try "wiener dog" fishing.  He would tie one of her toys on the end of a fishing pole and cast it out in the living room and watch her chase it as he reeled it in.  She quickly became my little baby as well. She would always lay with me on the couch and always wanted to sit in my lap.  She loved to snuggle with me and always wanted attention from  us.  She has always been such a sweet and wonderful dog.  She has her OU football jersey that she wears come game time!  She has a football that she chases around.  I have a Christmas scarf that she wears every year and she even has a pink little sweater to keep her warm on cold days.  I was very worried when Aiden arrived that she would be very jealous and be mean to him, but she wasnt.  She was very sweet and loving to him.  Even as he has grown and developed a "strong love" for her she has never tried to bite him or anything.  Although when he was little I think she did get just a bit jealous because I remember her going over to his blanket and purposely peeing on it!!!  Aiden loves her so much and is at times very smothering to her, even lately when she has been so sick she has never struck out at him.  I am so very sad that she will be gone before long.  I am very thankful that I got seven years with her but am sad and a little angry that there wont be any more than that.  She is so young and cancer normally doesn't attack small female spayed dogs.  It has been a really long month for us trying to figure out what is wrong with her and finally got her diagnosis on wed.  I am struggling very much with what I need to do for her.  I want to spend as much time with her as possible but I dont want to see her suffering either. We are trying to keep her as comfortable as possible with pain meds and will continue to do so until I feel she just cant take it any more. As I was looking back over pictures of her I found many pictures of when I would be holding Aiden while he napped and she was always right there with us.  She has always been a huge part of our family and she is going to be missed in a way that I cannot begin to explain.  I know to some people this is silly and she is "just a dog" but she is not, she is my first baby and I love her so much.    I cannot begin to imagine life without her.  I am finding little comfort and I know people will probably think I am crazy but the thing that bothers me most is that I know this is it and I will never see her again.  There is no after life for her where I will be reunited with her so I am faced with knowing everything but her memory stops here.  Telling Aiden will be very hard and I have no idea how I am going to do that but I guess as it happens we will figure it out.  The vet has told us we can expect her to be around for four weeks or less.  So please continue to pray for me that I find some sort of comfort and peace in loosing her.

Here a just a few of the pictures I found of her over the last seven years.

Aiden figuring out how to get the treat bag open and Emma being so excited because she has found herself a new best friend!!!

Emma with Grandma and Grandpa!!!


Boomer Sooner!!!

Sitting pretty for a treat
best buddies!
family photo.  These were actually my maternity pics and we thought we needed a pic of us before our baby boy arrived since we knew her world was about to be rocked!

Aiden's three month pictures.  I just knew I had to get one of them together.

You will be deeply missed Emma Rue!

Back Yard Fun

We decided to camp out in our backyard while the weather still permitted.  We had so much fun.  Shaun made a makeshift fire pit out of a grill.  We had hotdogs and roasted marshmallows for s'mores!!!  We also brought the tv out and mounted it up on the swing set and plopped a big blanket out for the boys to lay on.  It was rough getting Aiden to settle down and go to sleep but he finally gave it up.  Since Hunter decided he would be more comfortable at home in his bed (good call) I got guilted into sleeping in the tent thanks to Katie.  We got up and cooked a big breakfast the next morning which was probably my favorite part!!!!! We had a lot of fun!!!!

Fellowship Fun

So many reasons to love fall: Football, Chili, Holidays, Festivals, etc.  We have a really great Sunday School class.  I always love getting to do fellowships with our class.   The kids always love being together and there is always plenty of laughter for the adults to share.  We went to Firery Trails last week.  They have a huge fire pit for roasting hot dogs and making smores.  They also have a nice size covered shelter with tables where we could eat.  They had a hayride that the kids loved.  They had a few animals that the kids got to feed and there were plenty of ducks but with a bunch of 2-8 year olds anxiously wanting to feed them they were a little reluctant to come and eat.  They had a great little lit up swing set and a hammock.  The weather was amazing and we couldn't have asked for a greater evening!  

I think this is where Seth was daring Aiden to put rocks in his mouth and spit them down the slide.... awesome- thanks Seth!

The hayride
these four boys are trouble!
wanting to feed the ducks so bad!
Feeding the goats and I am still amazed that he would actually let them eat from his hand
So thankful for such a wonderful Class!!!!!

How cute is this

I saw this on a blog I read...How About Orange...  It is so cute and really makes me want to buy a coffee maker and start making coffee at home!

You can visit her blog to see the details on how to make the stencils to do this!!!!

Can you name these Corporate Logos? - sporcle

Can you name these Corporate Logos? - sporcle

This is such fun little game. Its interesting to see how many signs are really burned into our memories!

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Belated Birthdays

Happy Birthday post to my mom!  She loves loves loves her grand babies!  She has a beautiful spirit and a huge heart.  She has a heart for celebrate recovery and so many people benefit from her being there time and time again!  She has had some ups and downs over the past few years but I think she has finally hit a really great place in her life.  I love to see her happy.  She has always been a great mom and always been there for me.  I am very blessed to have her as my mom!  So here is my birthday wish to you mom.  Lots of love!

May this year bring you laughter, peace, healing, maybe marriage (I said Maybe Jim), and hopefully more grand babies!!!!  

And then there is my sweet sister.  She is a beautiful person who loves her family.  She is a wonderful mother to my sweet nephew.  She loves children and believes that all children are special and deserve to be loved!  She is an amazing teacher and I wish I had half the patience she does.  She always looks out for people and always wants people to know they have a friend to turn to if in need.  She always reaches out to people who have gone through a rough time to show them love.  I know my Jesus loves her servant heart!  She has a beautiful smile and her smile matches her heart! BIG!

May this year you get and feel back the love you give out, may life be filled with laughter, your heart filled with joy and your belly a baby!!!  May you always know how much you are loved and appreciated.  Thank you for all you have done and continue to do for me.  I love you!

My mom and my sister share the same birthday month.  I always seem to run late on my birthday posts but its better late than never right?!?!?!?